I recognize patterns. Not always the obvious ones, but the subtle, repeated behaviors, actions, and coincidences that pile up over time. I’ve been accused of “ruining a movie” by predicting the twist long before the big reveal, but that’s exactly how I see patterns in life.
And while it’s an annoyance for some, for me, it’s survival. It’s how I’ve learned to notice when something is genuine versus performative, when it’s consistent versus conditional.
I wrote in a “long ass update on life” that I’ve learned what it feels like to be appreciated and truly seen—and that it’s really uncomfortable sometimes.
And it makes sense, because I’m not used to it. Consistency. Unconditional care. Attention without expectation. I’m used to the pattern going the other way.
The difference becomes obvious in the little things. (It’s always the little things, isn’t it?) Date nights happen without me having to remind anyone. Gifts aren’t just “stuff”—they’re thoughtful, reflecting things I actually need or enjoy. There’s even a stocking (a stocking!)—and that feels extraordinary after years without anything like it.
School pickups, conversations with my kids, thoughtful proactive actions; these aren’t obligations or checkboxes. They’re intentional. Attention is given where it’s needed. Space is respected where it’s wanted. Frustration is named and managed, not dumped out for everyone else to manage. Emotions are acknowledged. Details are noticed. Effort is consistent, not performative.
This is what it looks like when someone has learned the difference between morals and skills.
And it’s so important to understand the difference.
Morals are easy. They live in words, in ideas, in what we say we believe. Anyone can claim them. Skills are the harder part. Skills are what we actually do when it’s uncomfortable. Skills are action. They’re measurable. They’re real. You can’t fake them, not for long.
It’s a skill to tolerate shame without collapsing, to accept responsibility without rewriting reality, to prioritize others over your own self-image. And when those skills are present, it shows up everywhere—in the little gestures, the attention that’s given without being asked for, the way a home feels safe and a child feels seen.
It’s unfamiliar, yes. But it’s real. And it’s the pattern I want to keep noticing.
Reconstructing Cori 